Traffic, Traffic – Looking for My Chapstick

20 Jun

One of the things that baffles me about the Midwest is the traffic. I don’t know what wizard designed the infrastructure here, but Bravo. I live 40 minutes from my job. 40 minutes of pure rockin’-out-in-my-car, going-15-over-the-speed-limit, passin’-chumps-on-the-left, driving. None of this stop-and-go shenanigans like in Philly.

Well done, sir.

I always listen to the radio in my car. When I lived in Philly, the traffic report was so long, that the announcer had to really rattle through all of the chaos and Armageddon that had occurred before I even got into my car. “7 people died on the Ben Franklin Bridge. 476 is backed up for 8 miles. If you’re on the Conshohocken Curve, I hope you brought your lunch because you’re not moving for shit!” In Ohio, I think the most I’ve heard from the morning traffic report is, “Well, it looks like the traffic on 270 is going to put an extra 4-5 minutes on your commute this morning. This is Chipper McChipperson with the WNCI morning traffic.”

The pace of life is so much slower here. I know, because I am the only one doing 80 on a rural state highway. My aggressive (yet, very lovely) NYS plates zoom past the other people on the road, who vigilantly obey the traffic laws.

One pick-up truck got a sweet view as I merged onto 33W this morning. “Pumped Up Kicks” came on the alt rock station here and of course, I had to start dancing.  I didn’t even realize how I looked until I saw the guy shoot me an incredulous look: “Girl, what are you doin’?” I toned it down until I passed him and then I resumed rocking.


3 Responses to “Traffic, Traffic – Looking for My Chapstick”

  1. GSL June 21, 2012 at 2:30 pm #

    Our traffic report had this story in it today:

    Little different from what I heard on 104.5 from NJ to Nova:)

    • ::beezy:: June 21, 2012 at 2:55 pm #

      That might be the most entertaining traffic story I’ve ever seen!


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    […] always rocked out in my car in the morning. It’s nice to be alone with the ability to scream song lyrics without a passenger covering their […]

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