Words of the Week – Starting Over

30 Jul

I’ll be moving to Buffalo in 3 weeks and I start my new grad  program in 4 weeks from today. I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t scared out of my freakin’ mind.

I like to challenge myself to try new things so as to not be complacent with my current situation. I’m a creature of habit and I know that as soon as I get into a pattern and routine, it’s hard for me to change. Some things are fun or easy to change – especially when they need to (e.g. moving out of a bad apartment, breaking up with someone who was terrible to you, going on vacation, trying a new food, going on a fun adventure).

I’m comfortable here in Ohio. I love the people I’m with, the work that I’m doing, the area in which I live, etc. However, I have to start all over again in a month. I’m moving to Buffalo – a large city that doesn’t quite reflect my personality. I’ve considered taking a year off of grad school and just working – trying out the whole corporate office thing for just a year. That could work, right?

Last week, I debated this thought. I bought the largest lollipop I could find (random, I know – but it was cotton candy flavored and seemed like a fantastic idea at the time) and drove around the Central Ohio countryside until that lollipop was gone. I just drove and thought, drove and thought. No. I’m not really cut out for the corporate world, unless it’s on the other side: helping companies to become better, studying their people and processes, teaching others how business and psychology ideas and principles are applied in the real world. To be honest, it was shocking how strongly I felt about this. I knew this was my original plan, but to confirm it in my mind, on my own, was really rewarding.  I’ve gone through several “I want to be X when I grow up” conversations, and this is the first one that has stuck with me for longer than a year.

Yes, I’m sad to be leaving Ohio – but I’m not leaving forever. I’m not being banished to a far away land for the rest of my life. They make planes, trains, and cars for a reason. I think I have it confused in my mind that when I say goodbye to something, it’s goodbye for good. In reality, it’s actually just “see you later”. I know that I’m going to come back and live in the Midwest after I graduate (pretty much *anywhere* in the Midwest – it’s flippin’ awesome here). It’ll be 4 years, but in relation to other things I’ve done, 4 years is nothing. I’ve already spent 6 years in college and grad school, waited a stupid amount of time to learn how to ride a bike, waited 3 years to see my mom finally get back on “the wagon” – I think I’ve gotten pretty good at this “delayed gratification” thing.

I found the above quote when I was searching for a neat Words of the Week post. It’s totally right – those are 3 viable options, but not for me. I don’t give up. Ever. Sure, I get frustrated with a lot of things, but if I can’t change it, then I get over it pretty quickly. However, if I’m given the chance to change something or fight for something (or someone), you better believe I’m going to. I give it all I’ve got.

When I move to Buffalo, I’m going to give it all I’ve got.


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