Archive | September, 2012
25 Sep

[Words of the Week] – Inch By Inch

23 Sep

My mom said this to me the day I left for Buffalo. It’s going to be a really rough week (and the rest of the semester – things have really started to get aggressive), but I know that I’ll eventually get through it.

I keep telling myself this everyday. It’s totally going to be worth it. 🙂

Things I’ve Learned So Far – Week 4 Edition

21 Sep

1. I heard someone say that you’re attracted to research that reflects your inner-self. What does that say about me if I voluntarily chose workplace abuse for my conceptual seminar paper? I’d like to explain it as “I dislike being mean to others and so I want to know why others would be.” We’ll see how that shakes out.

2. I am not only 1 of 3 ladies in the entering School of Management cohort, I am the only American and native English speaker. The others are from South Korea (8), China (1), Russia (1), and India (1).

3. I am atrocious at remembering South Korean names.

4. I am also the youngest.

5. I am so lucky to be 1 of 3 funded students in my School of Management cohort – meaning that I’m not paying a GD-thang to learn all that my brain can handle.

6. Workplace stress and work-family conflict is incredibly interesting to read about.

7. I think I have a better handle on what “prioritizing” means. I always thought I did, but now that I am under tight and aggressive deadlines, I know exactly how much work to put in and how long it will take me to do so. Don’t get me wrong – I will totally procrastinate and watch Breaking Bad instead, but I try to limit those events.

8. If you try to be an overachiever in PhD school, you will die. I have this insatiable urge to always be better. Not necessarily comparing myself to others, but knowing what I want to do and how much further past that point I can push myself. I have to beat my prior performance. I was always the student who had the pristine presentations and aesthetically pleasing term papers. Getting a PhD is not the place to worry about “above and beyond” because if you do, you’re always going to be behind. Actually, no matter how hard you work, there’s always something you’re supposed to be doing. If you don’t have something to do, it’s because you’ve gotten hit on the head, developed amnesia, and forgotten about the bazillion papers you have due. This being said, it is always appreciated by others if you do take the initiative to get sh*t done, but you have to map everything out and make sure you can do it with the resources you have available.

9. I’ve been in this program for 1 month, and I can already feel myself changing again. I’m becoming wiser – not necessarily book-smarter, but I’m really starting to uncover more of who I am. My fake advisor is really helpful in this effort. (I call him that because I’m not technically assigned to him, but he is an incredible role model. He’s the professor whose office I cried in. I subsequently had a beer with him afterwards. He’s fascinating, supportive, very direct in his criticisms of my ideas, and is teaching me a lot about life and what I deserve as a person. You’d think I would have figured this out earlier, but I had an interesting childhood that didn’t lend itself to much self-esteem-building. He’s also a nut, which makes for interesting conversation. He’ll never replace GSL [let’s be honest – who ever could?!], but I like to view him as my “proximal GSL.” The guy who I’m assigned to is “ok.” Nice guy, but not incredibly exciting, nor is he around a lot.)

10. The other gentleman in my OB cohort wants to get a PhD so that he can become “famous.” Apparently, this is a thing. While I guess that would be nice, that’s totally not what I’m about. I want to teach and contribute to science. Also, having summers off would be great for the future family I don’t have yet. 🙂

11. I CANNOT STOP LISTENING TO THIS SONG!

A Lyrical Analysis of Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe”

19 Sep

Dear Carly Rae,

Being a “woman of the world” (well, sort of – I’ve experienced some stuff) and a seasoned older-sister, I would like to take this opportunity to give you some older-sisterly advice regarding your dating style. My comments are as follows:

I threw a wish in the well,
Don’t ask me, I’ll never tell

I looked to you as it fell,
And now you’re in my way

Carly, I’m not sure if you know how wishes work, but you’re not supposed to tell anyone what it was. You shouldn’t have to tell a real friend that. He/she should know that the wish will become null and void once it is spoken.

I’d trade my soul for a wish,
Pennies and dimes for a kiss
I wasn’t looking for this,
But now you’re in my way

Really, Carly? I feel like people usually think this out a little bit longer when making deals for their soul. If I was in your position, I might trade my soul for better lyric-writing abilities. Now *that* will get you somewhere. Also, wishes aren’t a good trade – there’s no real guarantee that wishes come true. I never did get that pony…

Your stare was holdin’,
Ripped jeans, skin was showin’
Hot night, wind was blowin’
Where you think you’re going, baby?

Ripped jeans? Is he stuck in the 90s? Is he pretending to be an Abercrombie model? You might want to reevaluate your choice in male fashion, Miss Jepsen. Also, I don’t know about you, but I find it hard to look attractive and be attracted to others when it’s oppressively hot outside. My face looks like it’s going to melt off my skull and I don’t usually enjoy being within 2 feet of another body heat-producing lifeforce.

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?
It’s hard to look right,
At you baby,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?

Oh boy – other than sounding like a creeper or the Overly Attached Girlfriend, it’s poor form. I usually wait for a guy to ask for my number, instead of offering it outright. I get where you’re going with the “shy, coy girl” routine, but it seems a little contradictory to be playing it cool right after you were basically Billy Mays-ing your phone number.

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?
And all the other boys,
Try to chase me,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?

Here’s where I *might* agree with your strategy. If you casually mention to this fine gentleman that other people may be attracted to you, it would make you seem like a hot commodity. However, be sure not to overdo it so that he thinks you’re trying to “friend zone” him. Major turnoff.

You took your time with the call,
I took no time with the fall
You gave me nothing at all,
But still, you’re in my way
I beg, and borrow and steal
Have foresight and it’s real
I didn’t know I would feel it,
But it’s in my way

Judging from your earlier actions and freakout tendencies, I’m going to assume that he waited longer than 2 hours to call you. Don’t worry – it’s going to be ok. In the meantime, begging is desperate. Borrowing is ok if you return the item in an appropriate amount of time. Stealing is never ok. Side note: I don’t think torrenting is stealing. That’s a separate issue.

Your stare was holdin’,
Ripped jeans, skin was showin’
Hot night, wind was blowin’
Where you think you’re going, baby?

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?
It’s hard to look right,
At you baby,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?
And all the other boys,
Try to chase me,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?

Girl, we talked about this. Get it together.

Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad
I missed you so bad
I missed you so, so bad
Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad
And you should know that
I missed you so, so bad

#facepalm This just screams, “Desperate! Desperate! I am really desperate!” From the limited knowledge I have in the realm of psychology and the social sciences, I’m going to assume that it is pretty much impossible to miss someone before you know that they exist. That’s effin’ science.

Mid-Week Music Moment: “Headlights” by Morning Parade

19 Sep

“I am the beckon to your call.”

Unfortunately, “The Mistake on the Lake” (an affectionate name for the great city in which I live) does not have a decent alt rock station that I can jam out to. Luckily, iHeartRadio allows me to listen to Radio 104.5 – my *favorite* station from when I lived in Philly.

This song is pretty awesome – different from the stuff I’ve been posting lately, but a welcome addition to my playlist.

 

Have a Wild Wednesday!

 

Distally Located Social Support / The Best Birthday Gift Ever

18 Sep

Instead of reading a meta-analysis of research on role ambiguity and role conflict (Jackson & Schuler, 1985), I figured I’d write a little bit. This particular topic has been floating around in my head for a little while and I finally have some substance to fill in the skeleton of my thought.

Today marks the 7-year anniversary of my dad’s passing. On one hand, I can’t believe it’s been 7 years already. On the other hand, I absolutely can. He passed a few weeks after my 17th birthday, while I was a senior in high school. I miss him from time-to-time, but I know he’d be proud of me. That’s what keeps me going.

Appropriately, this week’s readings for seminar deal with work-family conflict and job stress. If there’s one thing you experience in a PhD program, it’s job stress. However, according to Zellers and Perrewe (2001), certain personality characteristics can mitigate job burnout and strain. Also, they discuss how emotional social support can really be beneficial to those who exhibit extraversion (a dimension of the Big 5). I happen to be one of those people.

I am so blessed to have people in my life who really care about me – even if they’re not in the same time zone as I am. From my sister in Rhode Island who sends me hilarious and sometimes vulgar text messages, to Blian in New Jersey who sends me funny and punny Reddit-worthy stuff, to Sophie in Philly who listens to my bullsh*t and sent me a birthday card with googly eyes, to GSL in Nebraska who shares bitchin’ music and advice about getting through a PhD, to Jake in Cali who never fails to make me laugh hysterically and sent me the most amazing birthday gift I’ve ever gotten. (Note: this list is not all encompassing. There are so many people in my life who are loved and make me feel loved!)

I’ve known Jake for about 5 years now. Holy cow – it’s strange trying to remember how long you’ve known people. About a fortnight after my birthday, I received a package from Jake. I had been out studying and came back to a white package in my mailbox. He said he would be sending me something, but I didn’t expect an actual, full-on birthday gift! I opened the box to find a handwritten note, 7 pictures, and the cutest stuffed owl I’d ever seen. Here’s the most amazing thing: the owl was in all the pictures! Jake had gone around San Francisco and taken pictures of the owl in his favorite locations! I can’t believe how blue the West Coast is.

Of course, this owl needed a proper name. Through the magic of Reddit and some slight modification, my owl’s name is Sir Hooty McOwlface. A noble and fitting name for such an adorable creature. Thank you for making me smile, Jake 🙂

Sir Hooty McOwlface!

Bonus MWMM: “Live and Die” by The Avett Brothers

13 Sep

 

Surprise! Their album was officially released yesterday and this is their new single. To be honest, I found out about this song because The Avett Brothers are featured in a Gap commercial (that is 30 seconds of pure awesome).

 

Yet another short post, as I have some research to do. Happy Thursday!

Mid-Week Music Moment: “All of Me” by Tanlines

13 Sep

Yeah, I’m a little late with this, but you’ll be bouncing after you hear this sweet little tune.

As you can tell with my music choices, I’ve been digging the 80s, house, electronic vibe-y music lately. I think I’m super excited that good synth-y music exists. Note: “Final Countdown” contributed to my loss of faith in synthesizers as an instrument.

That’s all I have for now – enjoy your Thrilling Thursday!

It Took Me 3 Classes

11 Sep

The first week of seminar was scary and exciting. I didn’t really know what to expect but I was so proud to be starting a PhD program in an area that I wanted to know more about. I had reading due the first class and we talked about a broad overview of the field of OB. There are 3 of us in the class so it really lends itself to some cool discussion. It was a pretty awesome first class.

The second week of seminar was a little bit more intimidating. I knew more about what was expected of me as a doctoral student and we talked about contextual icing research: what factors do you need to take into account when designing a study and interpreting the data? That’s a very high-level definition, but you get the point.

Class 3, I started to feel the pressure. I was prepared for class, but I feel intimidated by the other students. They’re much older and experienced than me. I try not to let it bother me, but I think I push myself harder knowing that I need to keep up with everyone else.

Class 3 did not end the same as the others.
My seminar professor asked to see me after class. I had a really cool topic that I’m exploring, so I thought that’s what he wanted to talk to me about. At first glance, he seems to be low on agreeableness, so I tried to prepare myself accordingly for the office visit.

I did not plan what happened next. “Why are you so quiet in my class? Is everything ok?”
Eff.
“Well,” I said, “yes, I’m fine. I’m prepared for class, but I think I’m still trying to adjust to everything. I’m just trying to find my voice and where I can contribute to the discussion. I think I’m a bit intimidated of the other students. They’re older than me and-”
“What the hell does that have to do with anything? You’re doing fine. Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?”

And then it happened. I cried. In my professor’s office. Not like a character in a Lifetime movie, but a few tears ran down my face. I was so embarrassed at first. I had broken. I thought I would last longer.
But then, I realized that I was crying because a professor really cared about my ideas in class, tried to challenge me, and wanted to know how I’m adjusting. Only two other professors I’ve ever had truly did that, and I hold them in very high regard.

My first thought of my seminar professor was that he didn’t really care about other people. I was so totally wrong and I’m really glad that I was.

I’m going to be just fine here 🙂

Mid-Week Music Moment: “Ghosts ‘n’ Stuff” by deadmau5 / My New Grad School Desk

5 Sep

 

I thought I’d spread the Buffalove this week, as deadmau5 is from Niagara Falls. Currently, I live 20 minutes away from the Falls. I’ve been there before, but I haven’t been since I’ve officially moved here. Also, as of today, I’ve been here for 2 weeks! School is fantastic and incredibly overwhelming. I’m convinced that getting a PhD is a social experiment where they test how much stress they can put on you until you show signs of strain (e.g. crying, screaming, mental paralysis).

This beat is one of the things that keeps me going in the grad office. I listened to this when I wrote my very first thought paper for my org behavior seminar. Oh also, I have my own office! – that I share with 2 other PhD students, but still it’s super awesome to have my very own space!

 

My very own desk space!

Please note the many coffee cups, the suh-weet dual monitors, 5K race tag, MBTI profile, awesome high-five bookends, and other desk-y accoutrements.