“Why I Can’t Marry Someone With the Same Job as Me” & Other Romantic Rants

2 Sep

I want to be a professor and researcher of Organizational Behavior when I grow up. If everything goes well, I’ll be there in 4 years. Well, the professor thing – not necessarily growing up :-P. Here’s the thing: although I’m very career-oriented at this point in my life, I eventually want to love someone, get married, and have a kick-ass family. And dogs. Lots of dogs. Definitely not any time soon, but eventually.

Here’s what I’ve decided in my interesting dating history: if I marry someone who has the same job as me, I’ll go effing batty. Why? Because I imagine the competition will drive me absolutely insane. I am (not out-of-control, but rather enthusiastically) competitive. Even if it’s a game of putt-putt, I psych myself up. I always want to do better than the best I can. Probably says a little bit about why I’m in a PhD program… Even if we don’t study the same topic, I can imagine that I would always be comparing successes. Not that healthy. I dated a guy who loved to prove that he was better than me at my class work. I’m sure we can all guess how that ended.

Luckily, I seem to be attracted to people who have different career aspirations in completely different fields. I love learning about other people and their different interests (Side note: engineering *fascinates* me). I don’t care if you’re a barista or a CEO, you have something interesting that I want to learn about. However, this comes with a caveat: you have to at least pretend to give a sh*t about what I do. I’ve met people who are interested in me, but aren’t interested in what I do. It blows. At this point in my life, I am deeply committed to my work. Please, just pretend to care about how my day was and listen to me when I complain about scrubbing a data set and how awful people are at taking surveys for research. I promise, I’d do the same for you.

I’m the type of person who will be 100% loyal to you. I will always ask about your day and how you’re doing and what you’re working on. I get it. I know how to be incredibly supportive because I know how amazing that feels to be on the receiving end. I want to hear about the robots you’ve built, or the paintings you’ve created, or the new planet you’ve discovered. I promise, I’m a really good listener. Also, if you do discover a new planet, can you get me in to meet Neil deGrasse Tyson? I’d be forever grateful 🙂


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