A Lyrical Analysis of Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe”

19 Sep

Dear Carly Rae,

Being a “woman of the world” (well, sort of – I’ve experienced some stuff) and a seasoned older-sister, I would like to take this opportunity to give you some older-sisterly advice regarding your dating style. My comments are as follows:

I threw a wish in the well,
Don’t ask me, I’ll never tell

I looked to you as it fell,
And now you’re in my way

Carly, I’m not sure if you know how wishes work, but you’re not supposed to tell anyone what it was. You shouldn’t have to tell a real friend that. He/she should know that the wish will become null and void once it is spoken.

I’d trade my soul for a wish,
Pennies and dimes for a kiss
I wasn’t looking for this,
But now you’re in my way

Really, Carly? I feel like people usually think this out a little bit longer when making deals for their soul. If I was in your position, I might trade my soul for better lyric-writing abilities. Now *that* will get you somewhere. Also, wishes aren’t a good trade – there’s no real guarantee that wishes come true. I never did get that pony…

Your stare was holdin’,
Ripped jeans, skin was showin’
Hot night, wind was blowin’
Where you think you’re going, baby?

Ripped jeans? Is he stuck in the 90s? Is he pretending to be an Abercrombie model? You might want to reevaluate your choice in male fashion, Miss Jepsen. Also, I don’t know about you, but I find it hard to look attractive and be attracted to others when it’s oppressively hot outside. My face looks like it’s going to melt off my skull and I don’t usually enjoy being within 2 feet of another body heat-producing lifeforce.

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?
It’s hard to look right,
At you baby,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?

Oh boy – other than sounding like a creeper or the Overly Attached Girlfriend, it’s poor form. I usually wait for a guy to ask for my number, instead of offering it outright. I get where you’re going with the “shy, coy girl” routine, but it seems a little contradictory to be playing it cool right after you were basically Billy Mays-ing your phone number.

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?
And all the other boys,
Try to chase me,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?

Here’s where I *might* agree with your strategy. If you casually mention to this fine gentleman that other people may be attracted to you, it would make you seem like a hot commodity. However, be sure not to overdo it so that he thinks you’re trying to “friend zone” him. Major turnoff.

You took your time with the call,
I took no time with the fall
You gave me nothing at all,
But still, you’re in my way
I beg, and borrow and steal
Have foresight and it’s real
I didn’t know I would feel it,
But it’s in my way

Judging from your earlier actions and freakout tendencies, I’m going to assume that he waited longer than 2 hours to call you. Don’t worry – it’s going to be ok. In the meantime, begging is desperate. Borrowing is ok if you return the item in an appropriate amount of time. Stealing is never ok. Side note: I don’t think torrenting is stealing. That’s a separate issue.

Your stare was holdin’,
Ripped jeans, skin was showin’
Hot night, wind was blowin’
Where you think you’re going, baby?

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?
It’s hard to look right,
At you baby,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?
And all the other boys,
Try to chase me,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?

Girl, we talked about this. Get it together.

Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad
I missed you so bad
I missed you so, so bad
Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad
And you should know that
I missed you so, so bad

#facepalm This just screams, “Desperate! Desperate! I am really desperate!” From the limited knowledge I have in the realm of psychology and the social sciences, I’m going to assume that it is pretty much impossible to miss someone before you know that they exist. That’s effin’ science.

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One Response to “A Lyrical Analysis of Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe””

  1. jbuckley528 September 20, 2012 at 12:03 am #

    This is amazing.

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