Stuck in an Internet K-Hole

18 Mar
Screen shot 2013-03-18 at 9.32.07 PM

Thanks, urbandictionary.com

When I work on a paper / presentation / thoroughly detailed outline of the next 5 years of my life, I go to my favorite coffee shop. There’s something about that atmosphere that just makes me feel productive. I see all of the other diligent, hipster-y looking individuals tip-tap-typing away on their MacBooks, looking to make a huge impact on their field. Or maybe just scrape by to finish the class they hate. Unclear.

I buy a jade tea: 1. because it’s delicious when you add just the right amount of honey. 2. because if I drink anymore coffee, my heart might burst within my chest cavity. I wish I was being hyperbolic. I think half of all the cups of coffee I’ve imbibed in my lifetime have been in the city of Buffalo – and I’ve only lived here for 7 months.

The only problem with this tea is that when they hand it to me in the artfully crafted ceramic mug, it is roughly the temperature of the sun, so I can’t drink it right away. Of course, I don’t have to start working right away, because I want to wait for my tea to cool down. I can’t embark upon this academic adventure if my tea isn’t ready to go. I can’t leave it behind, so I start on Facebook. After perusing the pictures, jokes, videos, and general quirky Internet presence of my friends, I find a link to an online article, and I remember that my Google Reader is full. I should go empty it. Even if I don’t read through every article in there, I love the feeling of a clean inbox. One of the articles reminds me that I haven’t checked Reddit yet today. Haha, Grumpy Cat memes. Memes, memes, and more memes.Wait, we just had a major holiday, so there are bound to be millions of photos uploaded to Instagram. Each one telling a story of how drunk someone was, how delicious their food was, how adorable their pet is, and how much they love selecting filters (ProTip: everyone looks great in Earlybird). How many likes did my photo get? Did anyone comment on my photo? Who is this person? Ohmyblog their nail art is amazing! I totally have gold glitter nail polish. Maybe I should go home and paint my nails like that. I’m not home? Oh, I’m at the coffee shop.

Hold on – what time is it?

Dammit! I just spent 3 hours browsing the Internet. That’s 3 hours that I’m going to have to stay up later to write this dumb paper.

Ugh! Every time, Internet. You get me every time.

And now, my tea is cold.

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